Less than an hour ago, the WCE CAPCOM received the first photographs sent by the Expatdom’s Zhanshen 6 Mars Mission crew, which may indicate life-forms on the distant planet. The images, and the accompanying-report, sent by the Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander, Lloyd Bridges, are being closely scrutinised by the CAPCOM’s team of astrophysicists, biologists, zoologists, and other experts”
Commander Bridges said that he was exploring the Mare Utopia valley, when the discovery was made. “At first we thought that they could be some form of insectoid species”, he said, “ but as you can see, they resemble bipedal anthropoids!”.
He reports that the Martian-creature’s behaviors are even-more bizarre than the photos indicate. “Their means of communication, – if that’s what it is, consist of repetitive, guttural sounds. Incomprehensible, and robotic, with no pattern”. As to their movements, Commander Bridges said that “they locomote in a bewildering lateral, or sideways-shifting, mode”. “I’ve dived to depths of 300 fathoms in Lake Taihu, and thought I’d seen grotesque animalcules before, but these things have got me shaking my head”, said the Commander.
Inside the Zhanshen 6 Landing Module, team-commander Archduke Harry Moore has been frantically-scanning through his collection of Carl Sagan’s books for some clues that may assist in identifying the Martian life-forms. “I’ve flicked-though billions and billions of pages, but so far found nothing that can help us yet”, said the Archduke.
Reaction in the Expatdom has ranged from excitement, disbelief, and, in some cases, to fear and revulsion. When shown copies of the images, Andis Kaulins, The English Teacher, was visibly-shaken, and required smelling-salts to recover his composure.
Navy Commander Bridges proposes to capture one of the Martian creatures, and have it analysed and examined at the Expatdom’s Strange And Weird Bipedal Anthropoid-from Mars Analysis and Examination Facility (WCESAWBAfMAAEF).
However fellow-Zhanshen 6 crew-member, WCE Royal Mounted Police Squad Commander Chief Inspector Harry Callahan expressed his strong disagreement. “I’m not touching ‘em”, explained Commander Callahan. “these things could have hostile intentions. Maybe they’re Red Trojan-Planet horses. We can’t put decent, law-abiding Expats at risk, – who knows what they’re capable of? I say that we leave ‘em here”, CI Callahan said.