End of National Hockey League Strike Means Male Wuxi Expats Can Shower Undisturbed

Not only Wuxi Expats from Canada are happy that the National Hockey League Strike is over. In fact, all male Wuxi Expats are happy and relieved that the NHLPA and the NHL owners came to an agreement to end the labor dispute that had threatened to put an end to the 2012-13 NHL season.

"When a male Canadian Wuxi Expat can’t think about hockey, I have learned his thoughts turn to other men. And if they think for a long time about other men, the thoughts become obsessions, and then these Canadians will get in heat, and then they will go on rampages like love crazed mooses from which no male expatriate is safe whether he showers in public or private facilities." says Australian-American Thor Lyndon, an English teacher and part-time body builder, who says he hasn’t been able to take a shower since early November. "These guys named Sittler, Mahovlich, Savard, Dryden, and Turnball came to my gym, were spotting me, eying me lasciviously, and of course we had intimacies in the shower which is what you have to expect if you are a body-builder. But, then it got out of hand. I then would be showering in my apartment, minding my own business as it were, when I would hear a fantastic moan and feel a Canadian charging at me. Two minutes, I hear them say "Sorry eh! I don’t know what came over me!" And I don’t know how these Canucks get into my apartment."

Lyndon is not the only male expat to complain. Male Wuxi Expats, from all countries in the world except England, have complained about being charged at by love-struck Canadians while trying to take showers.

John Rusty Saul, leader of the Wuxi Royal Expatriates from Canada Council (WRECC), told the WCE Blog that they would pay repatriations to the male Expats who had been molested during the strike. "You know eh! We Canucks love our hockey you know eh! The reason the hockey was invented was that we wouldn’t end up like Sodom and Gomorons eh! Thank Be Jesus that the strike is over with. Now we can think of that them there hockey game! ‘Cuss as the song goes: the good old hockey game is the best game you can name, and the best game you can name is the good old hockey game!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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