The Royal Poet Laureate of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Alfred Lord McCluskey, who is one of the nominees for the 2012 Wuxi Expat Best Legs Award, says it is unpoetical for him to take cars, buses, trains, or taxis as he makes his way around Wuxi.
“I prefer to walk in beauty, like the night, and imagine cloudless climes and starry skies and all that’s best of dark and bright.” said McCluskey.
McCluskey also eschews the Internet and Mobile Phones. He thinks nothing of walking 16 miles to deliver a letter and borrow sugar from a pretty lass who tickles his fancy. “A journey on foot is a mind-body integrative activity: the legs move, and the mind wanders. By being forced to focus on quick-passing logistical realities such as stepping over uneven ground, the brain is freed up from having to contemplate back ground worries, which are both more tedious and less specific, than the ground underfoot.”
Asked if the reason he walked was because he had an iguana and was banned from all modes of motorized transportation, McCluskey answered: “Well if anyone sees, they shouldn’t surprise, my iguana and me, on our daily exercise! We go to Tai, my iguana and I, then he sits on my shoulder, and we stroll by the beach! But it’s just the spine under his back that makes him seem grim, but he just loves to be tickled under his chin!”
McCluskey was full of praise for the three women: Queen Ayira, Wonder Woman, and Mrs. Miss Moneypenny, who along with him, had been nominated for the 2012 Wuxi Expat Best Legs award. “To think men cannot take you, Sweet, And enfold you, Ay, and hold you, and so keep you what they make you, Sweet! You like us for a glance, you know— For a word’s sake, or a sword’s sake, all’s the same, whate’er the chance, you know. And in turn we make you ours, we say— You and youth too, eyes and mouth too, all the face composed of flowers, we say. All’s our own, to make the most of, Sweet— sing and say for, watch and pray for, keep a secret or go boast of, Sweet! But for loving, why, you would not, Sweet, though we prayed you, paid you, brayed you in a mortar—for you could not, Sweet! So, we leave the sweet face fondly there: Be its beauty. Its sole duty! Let all hope of grace beyond, lie there! And while the face lies quiet there, who shall wonder that I ponder a conclusion? I will try it there.”
McCluskey has earned his right to lose himself in the nature. He first came to the Wuxi China Expatdom intoxicated with the supposed ideals of the ascension of the Ayatollah of Mordor to the kingship of the Wuxi China Expatdom. But he quickly became disgusted with the political, moral, and aesthetic aspects of the Ayatollah’s regime. He became an alcoholic living in Wuxi Expat pubs till Gorzo the Mighty made him poet laureate of the reformed Wuxi China Expatdom. He then set out in verse to describe the truth of the hardships of Ayatollah’s victims as they had never been described before. He walked for miles alone, through Meicun, Hubin, Nanchang, Hui Shan, Shuo Feng, Yanqiao,and Hubin, talking to people made tramps, beggars, and prisoners by the Ayatollah. He was utterly crushed by the Ayatollah’s inexpatity to Wuxi Expats. He recognized that only total absorption in nature could heal and restore his spirit, along with a copy of the Poolside Harry Moore. “Though changed, no doubt, from what I was when first I came among these Wuxi Expats; when like a roe, I bounded o’er the mountains, by the sides of the deep canals and the lonely streams, where ever nature lead: I was more like a man flying from something he dreads more than one who sought the thing he loved. But then I saw TPHM!”