The Santiago Cafe will hold a family night every Sunday, announced Co-Manager Moe Muggins to a standing room only press conference held at the Wuxi #7 People’s Hospital parking lot.
"We at the Santiago Cafe are well aware that having a child and a wife puts a cramp in one’s social life. We are also aware that children will become our future customers. That is why, starting this Sunday, the Santiago Cafe will waive the cover charge for families coming to the pub. Families will be able to order food from our extensive menu at half price. They will also be able to take advantage of drink specials. Children, under fourteen, can drink for free, with no exceptions. That is, they can order anything they want from our liquor menu that features one hundred different brands of beer, two hundred of the most wonderful French wines and over five hundred kinds of shooters, including some concocted by our bartender Maurice especially for children like the Barney the Dinosaur, the Big Bird, the Teletubbie, the Percy, the Henry, the Toby and other Thomas & Friends shots!" said Muggins.
Asked about contests, Muggins said that there would be contests for family members no matter their age. "We have thought of games with whipped cream that can be played by Mom, Pop, junior, Sis, and your uncle Leo! Winners of the contests can receive autographed copies of the Archduke Harry Moore & Mrs. Miss Moneypenny instructional how to start a family video or the a Itunes Gift Card good for the purchase of their favorite hip-hop songs!"
Asked about baby-sitting services, Muggins said that the pub’s clowns had received first-aid training and passed criminal record checks. "Sober or drunk, families can feel completely safe at the Santiago Cafe Family Night!" exclaimed Muggins.