Wuxi Expat Blogger Composes Panegyrics for the New Bacon Double Burger at McDonald’s

Blogger Andrew Cowlinch really likes the New Bacon Double Burger at McDonald’s — so much so that he has foregone all other forms of food, and eaten the burger for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the three weeks since the burger was put on the McDonald’s lunch and dinner Menu.

"It reminds me of the Mozza Burger that you can get at A&W’s in Canada!" said the blogger in an exclusive interview with the WCE Blog.

Cowlinch’s satirical blog lampooning Wuxi Expats gets three or four readers a day, he figures. Asked if he knew any of the readers, Cowlinch issued a firm denial.

Asked if he was frequenting McDonald’s because of perceived slights from a Crimean Restaurant that is also near the school, Cowlinch was at first silent before saying that he was simply looking for new dining experiences and that he didn’t feel, for even a second, that the Crimean Restaurant was taking him for granted. "Sure, they said something about my always ordering the same beef galoty on their menu, day in and day out, but I am sure they were just joking and I took absolutely no offence whatsoever!"

Cowlinch then steered the interview to the subject of the bacon double burger. "It is currently the best burger in town, bar none! The burgers you could probably get in the other restaurants, especially the Wuxi Expat pubs, are more than likely crap! The bacon double burger from McDonald’s is nectar in a beef form combined with bread and bacon! The sauce is sheer ambrosia!"

Other Wuxi Expats say they like the burger, but they think Cowlinch is going overboard with his panegyrics about the burger at work. "He is delivering them to his fellow English teachers, his Chinese colleagues, and all students no matter what their level of English!" said Cowlinch’s colleague the Duchess Sir George Gansby Badminton Pinkington Stoke. "And even that would be tolerable, if he wasn’t forcing the students at gunpoint to go the restaurant and order the burger!"

Cowlinch’s wife Wilma, a local girl, doesn’t tolerate the panegyrics.

One Wuxi Expat, whom all would have expected to have eaten the burger, hasn’t. Disgraced former midget sumo wrestling champion of the Wuxi China Expatdom, English Teacher Duston Short told the WCE Blog that he is still working through his daily pre-paid pre-ordered allowance of 200 cheeseburgers he ordered for a year. "Me gots remaining six months of cheeseburgers. Hopes them new burgers on the menu still there in six months or so when me gots money again."

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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