Creator of McDonald’s Breakfast Hot Dog Wins Highest Wuxi Expat Civilian Honour

Frank Anthony Furter Wiener has been awarded the Wuxi China Expatdom’s, and probably the world’s, highest civilian honor, the Gorzo the Mighty Royal Medal of Human Expatriate Achievement, for his creating the Breakfast Hot Dog at McDonald’s.

His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty had this to say, to an audience of over one million, when he presented the medal to Wiener in a special ceremony held at Harry Memorial Square:

"How many breakfast hot dogs have Wuxi Expats eaten since they were put on the McDonald’s menu? How many times have Wuxi Expats performed the prisyadka dance after having eaten a breakfast hot dog? How many Wuxi Expats, filled with passion after eating the breakfast hot dogs, have made love to their Chinese girlfriends and then done the proper thing and married them, and thereby created more well-raised little Wuxi Expats? How many times has Duston Short tried to stick a breakfast hot dog where the sun don’t shine? How many? Well let me tell you!! More than any of us can count! I bet you can count to infinity twice and still be underestimating the joy and good fellowship that the Breakfast Hot Dog has brought to the Wuxi China Expatdom! Of course it is a small infinitesimal fraction of the sheer wonderfulness that has Archduke Sir Harry Moore has brought to the Expatdom, but that is not to shortchange Wiener’s achievement one bit! No sir! But I have to put things into perspective for those who know the Wuxi China Expatdom and those who don’t! Wiener’s accomplishment is greater that the Americans putting a man on the Moon! It is just not as good as the artistic achievement of the wonderful book of prose and photos: the Poolside Harry Moore! But Wiener is the first person, besides the Archduke to win this medal! I salute you and pray that more Wuxi Expats can do such wonderful things with food!"

Wiener, who teaches English at Global Galactic Solar System Giant Planet Super Nova English, says that being a Chef is a hobby of his. "It isn’t as manly as fixing cars or lumberjacking, but cooking is an English Teacher’s way of raising his or her self-esteem!"

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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