Chinese, Taiwanese, Koreans, and Japanese All Agree that Hans Island Belongs to Canada and not to Denmark

Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Wuxi China Expatdom King Gorzo the Mighty was able to broker a treaty between North Korea, South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, and the People’s Republic of China over an island.

While his Majesty wasn’t able to get the Asian countries to resolve any of their island territorial disputes, he was able to find some common ground among the countries about Hans Island — the cause of a territorial dispute between Canada and Denmark.

In a communique, jointly signed by Japanese Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda, South Korean President Lee Myung-bak, North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, People’s Republic of China President Hu Jiantao, and Taiwanese Premier Sean Chen, the leaders all agreed that by the laws of international relationships and mores of common human decency, Hans Island was and should always remain the sovereign territory of Canada.

King Gorzo was then able to get the five Asian leaders and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper sign a treaty of mutual defense stating that in the event Denmark sought to regain sovereignty over Hans Island, the five Asian countries would come to the aid of Canada by providing full use of each of their nation’s armed forces. Kim Jong-un, for instance, pledged to use nuclear weapons to defend Canada’s claim. Hu Jiantao said he would gladly provide Chinese troops if Canada choose to further regain its legitimate sovereignty over Greenland and the city of Copenhagen. "It is a tribute to the magnanimity of the Canadian character that they choose to let these pieces of territory be controlled by Danes!" said Japanese Prime Minister Noda.

Gorzo’s brokering of the agreement has many observers saying that the Wuxi China Expatdom King is a sure bet to win the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize and thus become the first to win the coveted prize two years in succession.

News of the signing of the treaty of Nanchang Jie Bar Street resulted in massive celebrations by Wuxi Expats, who ate celebratory breakfast Hot Dogs and engaged in Prisyadka Conga Line Dancing Competitions. Only one Wuxi Expat from Denmark was distressed. An uncontrollably sobbing Dane, who repeatedly asked to see his mother, was finally consoled after having a warm bottle of milk and being put to bed.


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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