Wuxi Expats Line-up to Marry Official Zhanshen 6 Mars Mission Memorabilia

Wuxi Expats have swamped the Wuxi China Expatdom Marriage License Bureau (WCEMLB) with applications for marriage licenses since the Zhanshen 6 Mission landed on Mars on September 11.

"We haven’t seen this many applications since the law permitting human and inanimate object marriage law became official in 2010!" said spokesman for the WCEMLB, Henry "the Eight" Tudor, who looked tired and haggard from working twenty hour shifts where he had tried to clear the backlog of wedding license applications.

Outside the WCEMLB offices, thousands of Wuxi Expats were lined up, many having stood there for days on end, carrying their perspective brides such as Zhanshen 6 ashtrays, caps, bobble-head dolls and books.

One applicant, Julius Shack, who said he was going to marry an ashtray bearing the official Zhanshen 6 logo, told the WCE Blog that he was "inspired" to marry his ashtray because of Archduke Harry Moore’s decision to have his wife accompany him as he stepped on Mars. "Gosh! It was so romantic! Now, I know that I ain’t in Miss Moneypenny’s league, so marrying the ashtray I bought on September 12 is the thing to do because it is a tribute to the marriage of the Archduke and Archduchess whose love is something to be admired by all of us!"

Ivan Fence, English Teacher, said he was going to marry his copy of the Poolside Harry Moore: the commemorative Zhanshen 6 edition. "Moore’s prose in the book is so exact, so concise, so reader-friendly that I use it to teach my Chinese students. As well, Moore’s prose is so profound that I have a homo-erotic attraction to it and him. Marrying the novel is like marrying Shakespeare and Ursula Andress — both of whom are out of my league!"

Duston Short, disgraced former Midget Sumo Wresting Champion of the WCE, told the WCE Blog that while he didn’t know about Zhanshen 6 landing on Mars; but that he was attracted to plastic water bottles and that he found the official Zhanshen 6 water bottle, that he was going to marry, to be very attractive.

The most popular objects of Matrimony for the Expats lining up at the WCEMLB office were the Archduke Harry Moore Bobble Head Doll and the Bobble-Chested Doll of Mrs. Miss Moneypenny. Some Expats wanted to marry both in violation of WCE laws against polygamy. "This could result in a civil war" said Harry Reid, who said he was well within his rights to marry the Arch Couple Bobble Doll Set. "But I don’t want to make trouble! The dolls are still in the box, so I think I can convince the authorities I am marrying the box!"

Those Wuxi Expats who aren’t waiting to marry Zhanshen 6 memorabilia, are waiting to hear what the Zhanshen 6 crew has found on the Martian Surface. Zhanshen 6 will stay on the Martian Surface till early December.


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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