Wuxi China Expatdom Parliament Proclaims that Supporters of the Major League Baseball Wildcard are Enemies of Humanity and Common Decency

In a proclamation unanimously voted for by the Wuxi China Expatdom Parliament, and signed into law by King Gorzo the Mighty, it was declared that any Wuxi Expat or visitor to the Wuxi China Expatdom, who had something good to say about the wildcard in Major League Baseball, was an enemy of Humanity and Common Decency, and deserved to be shot on sight.

Prime Minister Mango, at a press conference announcing the proclamation, told members of the WCE Press Corps, that Major League Baseball’s decision, in 1994 to put the wildcard into effect and thereby allow second place teams to qualify for post-season play, was blasphemous, stupid, unpoetic, and soul-destroying. "Bringing the wildcard into baseball was akin to shitting on ice cream or taking a piss in champagne. It was a way of ruining a wonderful thing that baseball had been till that point. There was nothing a true Wuxi Expat and a true baseball fan appreciated more than a good pennant race. Two great teams battling to the death for a pennant! It was the stuff of which legends were made and then could be passed on by grandparents to their grandchildren!" said PM Mango, who shocked members of the press corps with his uncharacteristic angry outburst.

The bill for the proclamation was introduced into parliament by Wuxi China Exaptdom Member of Parliament Saint Martin Gandhi Luther King Senior who said to the WCE Blog: "I love hockey and NFL football, and I have grown up with their many levels of playoffs. But with baseball, I grew up seeing only first place teams make the playoffs. The pain of seeing your team lose a pennant race was sweet and ultimately more memorable than losing a first round playoff series. Think of the great Yankee – Red Sox pennant race of 1978. It couldn’t never happen now….. Unless, my dream that only first place teams make it into the major league baseball season comes back into effect and I can say to the baseball Gods: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We have brought baseball back to its original state of grace at last! At last! At last!"

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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