Wuxi Expats land on the Surface of Mars

It was another banner day for the Gorzo the Mighty Led Wuxi China Expatdom, as the crew of the Zhanshen 6 Mars mission landed on the surface of Mars Tuesday.

Wuxi China Expatdom Archduke Sir Harry Moore, the Zhanshen 6 Commander, carrying his wife, the Archduchess Mrs. Miss Moneypenny, in his arms, descended the stairs of the Zhanshen 6 Landing Module, to make their historic first steps on the Martian surface. His first words were "Excuse Us! But I want to spend some time with the woman I love. So! Everybody wait ten minutes!", at which time he turned off the camera recording the event.

Exactly ten minutes later, the Archduke, his dark and tousled hair slightly disheveled, smiled in his Sunny and Reaganesque manner, and said "Those were small steps for a Wuxi Expat couple! A giant leap, as these things go, for Wuxi Expatdom couples the world over and mankind as well! Though, I expect that in a decade or so, you will see Wuxi Expats surfing on the surface of Jupiter and riding the rings of Saturn!"

Miss Moneypenny’s first words were: "Oh Harry Darling! Let’s return to the module and I’ll cook you a wonderful angel cake! It is frightfully cold out here!"

Moore then planted a copy of his all-time best selling book of prose and intimate photographs, the Poolside Harry Moore, on the Martian surface, and declared the planet Mars to be a colony of the Wuxi China Expatdom. Moore said he would have put the WCE flag on the moon but the key to the locker containing the flag had gone missing.

The Martian landing was witnessed by over a billion Wuxi Expats who had the Poolside Harry Moore App on their Iphones and Android phones. Another one hundred million witnessed the Martian landing at the Harry Moore Memorial Square Diamond in Wuxi’s Nanchang District where live video was shown on a 500m-sized MamaHugeHugetron.

Archduke Moore and and his consort Moneypenny returned to the Zhanshen 6 Landing Module and received a congratulatory message from His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty. His Majesty told Moore that it was a nice touch to have both a man and a woman step on the Martian surface at the same time for the first time.

The Arch Couple then received messages from other important world personages as Pope Benedict XVI, actor Chuck Norris, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, the Latvian President Andris Bērziņš, and film director Clint Eastwood. President Obama, not being able to use an Iphone, apologized for not have sent his congratulatory message sooner. "Biden say he knew how to use the thing! He lied!" said the U.S. president.

The five man Zhanshen Six Crew whose members are Archduke Harry Moore, Wuxi Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Force Detective Chief Inspector Harry Callahan, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Admiral Lloyd Bridges, Gambay’s Pub Co-Manager Fred Minkleman, and Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Air Force Commander Gregory Peck, is scheduled to stay on Mars till December 2012.


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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