Hundreds of Millions of Wuxi Expats took to the street and celebrated in a fairly big way after Zhanshen 6, the Wuxi China Expatdom mission to Mars, successfully landed on the Martian surface on Tuesday. But there was a blase attitude to the celebrating as a few complained of the Wuxi China Expatdom doing too many historical and magnificent things at too fast a pace.
The celebrating was notably restrained and individualistic. Whether they ate hot dogs, shed their clothes, called in sick to work, rubbed themselves with their favorite imported sauces, stuck their head in toilets or cupboards, kissed their inanimate object spouses, drank beer at their favorite local pub, or prisyadka pole-danced, Wuxi Expats celebrated their in own eccentric way, eschewing the need to be a mob.
"This Mars landing thing certainly has got to be in the top ten list of things that have happened since Gorzo the Mighty became our king!" said Wuxi Expat Andis Kaulins, who celebrated by drinking an ounce of Crown Royal from a bottle he thought he could now break open, the occasion being almost auspicious enough. "I almost feel happy today as when the former King of Wuxi, the Ayatollah of Mordor, was captured last year and brought to justice for his crimes against humanity and good taste!"
Wally Droop, owner of the Chestnut, Walnut, and Pink Kitty Pubs, said the celebrations reminded him of the day the Wuxi China Expatdom was freed from the dictatorship of the Ayatollah of Mordor. "The Day the Ayatollah fled to Winnipeg, Canada was the greatest day of my life! This Martian landing is just about as good!"
Duston Short, disgraced former Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion of the WCE, in an interview from the MaMaHugeHuge Sinkhole where he awaits word on whether he will be rescued, said the joy he felt about the WCE Mars landing was almost as great as the day McDonalds introduced hot dogs on their breakfast menu.
The one mob celebration, an attempt to form the longest conga party in human history, however, came up one hundred thousand people short. The record had been set after Archduke Moore delivered a lecture on the films of Clint Eastwood on March 8, 2012.
Wuxi Expats, interviewed by the WCE Blog said that they would further follow the exploits of the Zhanshen 6 mission on the Martian surface with breath abated. "I wonder if they will find life on Mars or some good restaurants!" said Wuxi Expat Thor Lyndon, who says he is a brain surgeon turned English Teacher.