Wuxi China Expatdom Leftists tell the WCE Blog that they are hoping for an Obama victory in the upcoming November 2012 U.S. Presidential Election.
Playing pool at the WCE Union Club, they said the following to the WCE correspondent.
"A victory for Romney would mean I will have to marry my three ex-wives and wear underwear made by the Walt Disney Corporation" said Duston Short, disgraced former Wuxi China Expatdom Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion. "Barack has got to win! I don’t want to go to church, no-how!"
"A victory for Romney would mean the end of sex as we know it!" said Wuxi Sexpat Party member Julius Shack, "With no birth control, we will be forced to have sex in back alleys!….. Not that there is anything wrong with that but we need variations in our love making and as the saying goes: spice is the variety of living! So I am cheering for an Obama victory!"
"The vice president, that Romney choose as a running mate, has a plan to push all senior citizens off cliffs near hospitals so that they will have to fend for themselves." said English Teacher Ivan Fence, who denied he was a Leftist, saying his politics were middle-of-the-road.
"A Romney president will result in women getting pregnant and so not achieve their career ambitions!" said the co-leader of the Wuxi Sexpat Feminist Alliance Deloris Morris. "So I say Gobama! Gobama! Woo hoo! Yeah! Let us end the slavery that is Mother-and-Wifehood!"
"If Romney and Ryan have their way, they will enact the same free-market laisez-faire economic policies that have made Wuxi China Expats the happiest and the most prosperous people in the world! All that wealth is no good! What will us progressives have to live for!" said Karl Muldoon, a self-described democratic socialist.
"I don’t want to have to spend all that money on hair products that a Romney victory would entail!" I like the Obama close-cut look! said the English Teacher Andis Kaulins, the cheapest man in the WCE, who describes himself as a political independent interested in what works.
"A Romney-Ryan Victory would result in a racial holocaust in which all blacks and spanish people will be gathered into concentration camps by forces of policeman and cowboys looking an awful lot like Clint Eastwood. They will then be put into chattel and sexual slavery before then being sent to gas chambers!" said Wuxi Expat Engineer Clyde Hexler. "And they will also do it to Negroes! I really hate the coded dog-whistle racism of the Republicans!"
"As soon as Romney is elected, innocents will die!" said Shiela Thompson, a child poverty advocate.
"If President Romney is elected. Those of us who aren’t rich, will become serfs and will be shot on sight if we leave the land or go to use the bathroom!" said Vladimar Lenin, a dancer at the Millennial Hotel in the Wuxi New District. "And swearing in movies will be stopped!"
"If Romney is sworn in in January 2013, everyone in the world will be allowed to have guns and so we will all die!" said Ed Broadbent, an English Teacher from Ontario, Canada. "The lucky survivors will have brain injuries!"
Asked if they thought Obama was going to win, all the respondents said they thought so, once the question had been explained to them so they could understand it. "Obama should win if he gets more electrical college votes or has good lawyers" said the most outspoken of the group, Hugo Che Stadium.