Wuxi China Expat Writer Carter Sassoon Dies

Wuxi Expat literary heavyweight Carter Sassoon, who had legendary literary feuds with Male Normaler and Harry Moore, died at 87 this week in the Wuxi China Expatdom.

Sassoon and Normaler’s feud eventually ended up in the fighting ring, as the two writers staged bouts of boxing, greco-roman wrestling and ultimate fighting. The bouts were considered to be the greatest of WCE history till her Majesty Queen Ayira: the Chosen One fought Oprah Winfrey.

Sassoon proudest achievement was being the cause of Archduke Harry Moore’s only public loss of temper. In 1968 at the Naturist Expatdom Convention, Moore said to Sassoon "Now listen, you Suzhou Expat, stop calling me a crypto-Nudist or I’ll sock you in your goddamn face, and you’ll stay plastered." Moore later apologized to Sassoon for calling him a Suzhou Expat but was nonetheless critical of Sassoon’s advocacy for Ayatollah of Mordorism. Moore would have the last laugh when his book "The Poolside Harry Moore" became the best selling and most-read and most-printed book of prose and photography in all of human history, thereby making "The Salon Sassoon" the most remaindered book in all of human history.

Sassoon was humiliated when Wuxi Expats ignored his book and embraced Harry Moore. For a while, he became a sycophant of the Ayatollah of Mordor. With the former King of Wuxi became thoroughly disgraced, Sassoon attempted to stage a charm offensive to get back in the good books of the WCE. However, when he could only earn one follower: Duston Short, the former WCE midget sumo wrestling champion; Sassoon went into hiding for the rest of his days.

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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