Canadian English Teacher in Wuxi, China Experiences Metaphysical Uncertainty Because of His Pair of Chinese Underwear.

Andis Kaulins, a Canadian English Teacher in Wuxi, China, tells the WCE Blog that he has been experiencing Metaphysical Uncertainty because of a pair of underwear his Chinese wife bought for him. "The underwear’s label, which has the size and manufacturing information and which I have grown to expect to be on the inside of the underwear at the back above the crack of the ass, is not where it should be on my Chinese underwear. Or at least it is not where I think it should be. It seems that the manufacturers, of this underwear that my wife bought for me, meant the label to be at the back above the crack, but on the outside! I first thought I was wearing my underwear inside-out, but the way the pattern and sewing patterns are on this particular pair of underwear, it just can’t be. The label has to worn on the outside and yet I don’t feel comfortable about it because I have lost my sense of having metaphysical certainty."

English Teacher Kaulins, who has made very specific instructions in the interview that it be known that he was not to be confused with the Andis Kaulins living in Wuxi who was the President of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association and the other Andis Kaulins living in Wuxi who was the President of the Wuxi Elite Expat Association, has been so shaken by his Chinese underwear experience that he talked of a dramatic paradigm shift happening to his world view. "I have been reading the texts of the major religious faiths and of all the great philosophical schools from all seven continents throughout all of human history. And as always, I end up reading Harry Moore’s great work of photography and prose: The Poolside Harry Moore. Moore in his fine book through his great writing and his great posing comes closest as any writer and male model I have ever seen and read to explaining human existence. He is 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 percent there toward explaining it all. But I need to find that missing 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent so I am afraid I am going to have to create a new school of philosophy and find the missing metaphysical Higgs-Boson thing-a-ma-jiggie that explains everything like the label being on the outer side of my underwear!. The poolside Harry Moore doesn’t provide solace on this one score!"

The Wuxi Expat Community’s reactions to the reflections of ET Andis Kaulins about his underwear have been less than receptive. Many have said that ET Kaulins is wasting his time because the Poolside Harry Moore is so outstanding and will remain the book to read about philosophy and living life for a thousand years. "And besides ET Kaulins is no longer in his physical prime and growing bald on top. To write and pose for a book like the Poolside Harry Moore, one has to be at the peak of one’s mental and physical prowess. ET Kaulins is over the hill!" said one Expat named Clint. One Wuxi Expat Engineer, speaking at Gambay’s Pub, told the WCE Blog that he had a factory to run and had no time for silly philosophical speculations. " Geez! I wish I could be an English teacher. Those guys have too much time on their hands if they have time to change their paradigms!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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