Stuck on a Taihu Island for Thirty Years, Tour Group Finally Returns to Civilization

What started out as a three hour tour, turned into a thirty year ordeal for a group that had gone on a cruise of Lake Taihu near the Wuxi China Expatdom. In 1982, the seven person tour group, consisting of a skipper, his shipmate, a movie star, a millionaire and his wife, a girl named Mary-Ann and a professor, was stranded on an island after the boat on which they were touring Taihu got caught in one of the many sudden and notorious squalls that hit the inland fresh water lake. Their boat, the SS Minnow, was then shipwrecked on an uncharted island.

The castaways lived on the island for thirty years before they were discovered last week by Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Admiral Lloyd Bridges who was doing his daily fifty km morning swim across Lake Taihu. "Usually, I don’t swim in the area that the island is. I prefer to swim in the parts of Taihu that are infested with piranhas and sharks. It is more of a challenge! But there was a rumor that there was an exploded nuclear device in the area, so I decided to investigate. During my investigation, I found this uncharted fifty square km island with an adequate supply of water, bamboo and all sorts of food! I then had this seven people run toward me like I was some sort of teen idol or Archduke Harry Moore" said the Admiral in an exclusive interview with the Wuxi Navy Blog.

The first question the group asked Admiral Bridges, upon being rescued, was whether or not Ronald Reagan had been re-elected to a second term as U.S. President. When told he had been, the entire group, except the professor, expressed their satisfaction. All the group was pleased to hear that a Negro had been elected President of the U.S. but sighed sadly, with the exception of the professor who punched the air in excitement, when they learned he was a Democrat.

The second question, about the world they had missed, came from the movie star named Ginger Grant who asked about Harry Moore. "I remember he was such a young, dashing and virile presence who showed such great promise and I couldn’t help but fall in love with him. I wonder if he became a great orator, got to star in James Bond movies, became a great writer, was inducted into a Hall of Fame somewhere or became an idol and role model to millions of men?" When told he had done all these things, Grant fainted with a rapturous look on her face. When finally brought back to consciousnesses, she expressed great sadness that she and Moore were never able to consummate their love. Grant lamented that Moore combined virility with an extreme chasteness that made all woman lose their coyness in his presence, only to be disappointed.

Millionaire Thurston Howell the third and his wife Eunice were elated to see that Bridges and other Wuxi Expats had no clothes on. When told that the Wuxi China Expatdom was the number place in the world for Naturists to live, the Howells said they would move back to the island and use the gold they had brought with them on the cruise thirty years ago to buy another boat. "We will build a Naturist retreat on the island!" said Mr. Howell.

The Skipper and his captain mate’s Gilligan were excited to hear about the Wuxi China Expatdom law permitting humans to marry inanimate objects. The Skipper said he was going to marry his boat the S.S. Minnow. Gilligan told the WCE Blog that he was going to marry the bunk bed, made of bamboo, that he and the Skipper had slept on for thirty years.

Asked how it could be that they could be stranded on an island, that was but ten kilometers from shore, for more than thirty years, the group all blamed the professor. "It turned out that he wasn’t as useful as the professor on the television series Gilligan’s Island! He was a professor of Sociology and consequently had no practical abilities that could have helped us!" said the girl named Mary-Ann. "He couldn’t even tie his shoes!"

The Wuxi China Expatdom will hold a celebration for the return of the castaways at Harry Moore Memorial Square Diamond on Monday, May 14. Along with speeches by Wuxi China Expatdom King Gorzo the Mighty and Prime Minister Mango; and musical performances by The WCE Trio and Meat Loaf & MeatLoaf; His Archdukeness and the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society Harry Moore will discuss the 1981 film: The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island.

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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