Andis Kaulins, the President of the WCE’s Elite Expat Association (WCEEEA), has given an address on the topic of “What Makes An Elite Expat Elite: – We are Not Of The Herd”. Speaking at Xihui Park’s mini-boat pond, President Kaulins told an enthralled crowd of Association members, and prospective members, that to be elite is “primarily a state of mind”. “Speech, behaviours, deportment, etc, thus logically follow”, he said.
“For example”, he said, “one refers to oneself as ‘one’. One is never ‘I’, or ‘me’. One can have conversations with others, and in so doing, one becomes recognised as being in the elite category”. “Last night”, he said, “one was in Gambays, sipping one’s beverage, when a crass and intoxicated Expat spilt Tsingtao on one’s bejewelled shoes. But one never displays one’s anger – one merely draws one’s verbal sword, cutting the scoundrel to pieces, with well-chosen elocution, expressing one’s irritation.” The Xihui Park attendees nodded as one, as they began to understand the President’s concept. One man, Hans Klinger, posed a question. “President, Sir”, asked Hans, “could you please tell us about style, and, how can I, err, I meant ‘one’, be more charismatic?”. “Surely”, replied President Kaulins. “Style is a matter of bearing. Fr’instance, no Elite simply ‘walks’, no, no, one ‘carries’ oneself with dash, elan, flair, lithsome agility, and panache. (Crowd-members frantically reached for their pocket-Oxfords).
“As though skipping lightly over hot bricks, or gliding, in the manner of Fred Astaire. I can, for instance, travel from Chong-an to The Baseball Stadium, in a mere 3 minutes and 48 seconds”, President Kaulins said.
“Some have recently asked”, the President continued, “- notably Harry Moore, about what is ‘acceptable’ in the Expatdom. Harry Moore thus revealed his bovine-commoner mentality, as a true-Elite would never need to pose such boorish questions”.
Prior to the conclusion of the Association’s meeting, President Kaulins announced that the society would be staging a performance of “The Importance Of Being Earnest”, and therefore a suitable candidate for the (pivotal) role of ‘Lady Bracknell’ would have to be chosen.
Posted By Dirt E. Bond to Wuxi, China Expatdom at 5/02/2012 02:25:00 AM