Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Makes Andis Kaulins Blow His Fuse in The Wuxi China Expatdom; Blames James Cameron

One-time personal spiritual-advisor to John, George, Paul and Ringo, the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has failed to make an impression upon anyone in the Wuxi China Expatdom.

Anticipating a multitude of candidate-converts, the Yogi hired the 16-million seat Dorothy Chandler Auditorium to dispense his immaculate wisdom, however not a single Expat attended.

Except Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion Duston Short, who, briefly, listened to the teachings, but then left, saying that he “understand guy didn’t that all at.”

Undiscouraged, the Maharishi spent three hours addressing the empty auditorium, on his early enlightenment as a student under
Swami Brahmananananda Saraswati; the existentialist-fundamentals of tranquility, peace, love, devotion, and surrender, and simultaneously playing Led Zeppelin-speed renditions of It’s Only Rock And Roll But I like It, and While My Sitar Gently Weeps.

The following day, the Maharishi, – feeling peckish, hovered his way down Zhongshan Road to grab a snack at KFC. There, by sheer chance, he encountered Andis Kaulins, the English Teacher,

“Are you”, the ‘rishi asked Andis, “attuned to the disciplines of brahmachari, as a student of spiritual knowledge,
and a life-long celibate ascetic?”.

“And, my brother”, the Mahesh continued, “do you celebrate the very genuine feeling of complete oneness with GuruDev; the inspired-Jyotirmath; Swami, Swarmi, How I Love Ya How I Love Ya; Don’t Jump Into The Icy Sea, Rose!; Instant Kama Sutra; Jack, Jack, Don’t Leave Me Jack!, and With The Axe, Rose! ?”.

Andis Kaulins’ verbal and physical responses are not recorded, but, at last report, the Maharishi was transcendentally medititating (TM) himself, at high speed, back to Shanargri La-la


Posted By Dirt E. Bond to Wuxi, China Expatdom at 4/17/2012 05:56:00 AM

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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