Joining the millions of new-arrivals that now call the Wuxi China Expatdom home are the Kiwi family the Youatt-Mulgrews.
Bob S. Grant, the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Families Council (WCEFC), once-mor e extended a hearty welcome to Phil Youatt-Mulgrew, and his three charming daughters.
Phil Youatt-Mulgrew’s decision to up-root his family from New Zealand was spontaneous. Afflicted by an acute case of piles, Phil’s doctor casually mentioned the new opportunites for families in the WCE.
"I told the doc to hurry-up and apply the cream", said Phil, "so we could pack our things and get going". Arriving in the Expatdom aboard the S.S. Carpathia, the family was immediately dumb-struck by their first glimpse of their new homeland.
"We couldn’t believe our peepers. Wuxi’s glittering high-rises
crowded between the blue Lake Taihu and the emerald of the Hui Shan ranges, cooled by soft trade-winds, gilded by golden sunsets and the stunning arches of rainbows: the booming prosperity, the proud history, and, above all, peopled by the friendliest Expats in the world", Phil clucks excitedly.
Better-known by his nickname, The Fonz, from the family’s favourite television show, Phil hasn’t worked a day in his 85 years.
"I spent most of my time beach-fossicking back in our old hometown, Waikikamukau".
"But I’ve been divorced five times so I do have plenty of hide-the-ferret experience under my furry loin-flap. I’ve got three lovely daughters, and probably lots more kids that I don’t know about back in New Zealand", says Fonzie with disarming candour. "My daughters, Joanie, Potsie, and Ralph Malph, are wonderful, and you can see that that they positively glow here in the Wuxi China Expatdom".
Phil-Fonz and his daughters have purchased a luxury apartment in the same building where the Expatdom’s foremost English Teacher, Andis
Kaulins, resides. "Yes", smiles Fonz, "Andis Kaulins’ apartment is right next to our pad. Andis is a fine young man, and the most right-neighbourly person in the world. He has given us a helping-hand getting our new drapes and rugs in place. He also helps us navigate our way around the Expatdom – naturally he knows where all the great WCE beauty-spots are, as well as the excellent shops."
"Andis told us to stop-by at his school anytime…(umm, well at-least I think that’s what he said). So we love it up here in the verandah-cafe. After a long day bargain-hunting in the Nanchang Temple malls, we can rest our weary paws here", The Fonz says.
Phil-Fonzie Youatt-Mulgrew believes that he can make himself useful in the Wuxi China Expatdom.
Already a well-known pater familias-figure in the Expat Bars and Zhongshan, Phil-Fonz says that he can contribute his sage-like wisdom and personal-magnetism as a friend and counsellor to the Expats.
"Any Expat can come and seek my advice", he said, "people here who might have sex-problems can talk to me anytime.
"My email is: spankmysaggingbuttdailybutthatsthewayilikeituhuhuhandlostmeblessedglassesagainsomytwothumbsupwithagreatbigheeyyyy