Wuxi Expat Pub sets up in Bunker amid Rumors of Possible Nuclear Attack

With rumors circulating all over the Expatdom, that they are to be the next target of Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming, the Walnut Pub has moved to a bunker 3,000 meters below their normal surface location. The bunker consists of a large bar room, many private rooms and several billiard areas distributed over two levels protected by approximately forty four meters of concrete

Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming is an effort by the Wuxi China Expatdom Police Squad in alliance with all the nuclear powers of the world to eliminate Hip-Hop from the Wuxi China Expatdom.

Walnut Pub owner Wally Droop told the WCE Blog that his bar was now open for business and that as an incentive for his regular customers to "come down", drinks and shots would be 50 percent off till the threat of nuclear attack had subsided.

Droop’s other pub, the Chestnut, felt the force of Operations Eliminate Bad Rhyming’s first attack with 300 nuclear bombs being used on Chestnut DJ booth and destroying all of Droop’s son Sandy’s Hip-Hop collection. "I am flabbergasted that there were no casualties in the attack, especially since it had the force of over 300 bombs dropped on Hiroshima. But I guess that a lesson of the attack was that Hip-Hop being played in my pubs had ruined any chance I had of having a civilized and loyal clientele!"

Asked why it was that he was taking such great precautions to withstand an attack of Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming when he didn’t seem so upset by their first attack, Droop said that it seemed unmanly to not put up a little bit of a fight. "Also, Sandy really believes in Hip-Hop and puts on a creepy affectless voice when talking about its detractors! So, really I want to just want to bury him and his music!" said Droop, off the record, to the WCE Blog.

Commander of Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming, Officer McNulty could not be reached for comment.

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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