Wuxi China Expatdom Freeport, Lake Taihu:
For the past four days, Admiral Lloyd Bridges has been
testing the latest weapon in the WCERN’s already-formidable arsenal.
Admiral Bridges said that he’d been given the design plans of the
Amphibious McDonalds Breakfast Hot Dog Torpedo (AMBHDT) by his old
shipmate, Admiral Chester Nimitz, back in their naval cadet’s training-course days at Annapolis.
"It is catapult-launched off the Fred Astaire’s flight-deck", he explained. But usually we need some extra grunt for the launch, so the Astaire’s mascot, Billy The Goat, gives it an almighty head-butt in the bread-roll’s tail-butt.
"Once on the water, I engage the AMBHDT’s six Chevy
V-8 engines, squirt it with catsup and cheese, – reduces friction; then cruise around Taihu. This morning I streaked around the Lake 268 times
at the max, – 428kmh. No problems so far, apart from getting my hair mussed-up a little".
"In a real attack scenario, the big wiener would be fired, then the bread roll returns safely to the Astaire", he said.
"It employs stealth technology too. I performed a dry-land run in it
yesterday. Mighty fast there too. Yesterday I drove it, in a direct
crow-flies run across farmlands and Expat farmers to the Nanjing Expatdom and back. Easy as pie, except that Duston Short ran alongside, trying to take a few chomps of it. A well-aimed wiener-wallop quickly deterred him though.
"The AMBHDT can deliver either conventional TNT, or an 88-megaton nuclear warhead. We were, as you’ll recall, invaded by the Nanjing Expatdom once before, so we’ve got a MAD strategic warplan in place.
"However, King Gorzo the Mighty, and the WCE government, have made it very clear that the WCE’s awesome military might will only ever be used in the defensive role.
"So, our Expats can sleep easily in their dumpsters, knowing that my sea-dog’s nose can smell any potential threats, and that my boys can deploy to battlestations at a moment’s notice".