Wuxi China Expatdom Police Force declares war on Hip Hop

Not content just with fighting bad grammar habits in English Teachers, pretentious French phraseology on the part of the wider Wuxi Expat community, and normal day-to-day crime, the Wuxi China Expatdom Police Force has now declared war on Hip Hop. Chief Inspector Harry Callahan, back from Suzhou where he had completely eliminated Suzhou Expat Drug Gangs, made the declaration to a packed press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay’s Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China.

C.I. Callahan told the ten thousand members of the media, that Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming was inspired by a conversation he had had, one night, over beers with His Majesty Wuxi China Expatdom King Gorzo the Mighty. "We were in the Chestnut Pub, His Majesty and I, and the King complained about the music being played. Hip Hop, his majesty told me, was completely atonal, amusical, unartistic noisy crap, and he then expressed a wish that something could be done about it! Well!!!! I am going to do something about it! So look out! You Hip Hop Punks! My friend Smith and Wesson is going to give you a lesson and you will stop your messing with sound!"

C.I. Callahan said that Officer McNulty would be the officer directly in charge of Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming. Said Callahan: "McNulty was not faulty when he taught the English Teachers the enamor of good grammar and the other Expats the tendentiousness of French phrasal pretentiousness!"

Officer McNulty, taking the podium from C.I. Callahan, said that he had again secured, as he had in his operations against bad English grammar and pretentious French phraseology, the help of the Wuxi China Expatdom Armed Forces for Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming; and so had lots and lots of Infantry, Cannon, Mortars, Armour, Bunker Busters and Cavalry at his disposal.

McNulty then shocked the assembled press members by announcing that there was a good chance that nuclear weapons might be used in the completion of Operation Eliminate Bad Rhyming. "We have gotten the Iranians, the French, the Israelis, the North Koreans, the Americans and the Russians to supply us with nuclear missiles. King Gorzo has said that Hip Hop is the most dangerous threat to civilized human decency that there has ever existed; and you can see that when you can get bitter enemies to all side with us, there is something to be said for his Majesty’s opinions!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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