Wuxi Expat claims that his love for cheeseburgers is a sex fetish that should be subsidized

Duston Short, English Teacher and the Wuxi China Expatdom Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion, told a special Parliamentary Nudist Steering and Policy Committee that his love for cheeseburgers was really a sex fetish that should be subsidized by his school’s and other Wuxi China Expatdom company health insurance programs. The special Parliamentary Nudist Steering and Policy Committee was formed after Short’s request to speak to a bi-partisan parliamentary committee, looking into Women’s reproductive health issues, was rejected by the majority Naturist Party which questioned Short’s status as an expert witness. The head of the Opposition Nudist Party Military Junta, General Augustus Caesar Ramon Chavez Allende Mah Jong Pinochle disagreed and so organized the special parliamentary committee, attended only by Nudists and Wuxi China Expatdom Feminist Sexpat Alliance members, to hear what Short had to say. Said General Pinochle: "There are were no short obese lazy English Teachers on the bipartisan committee! What was wrong with that picture!"

Speaking before Nudist and Wuxi China Expatdom Feminist Sexpat Alliance members of the Wuxi China Expatdom Parliament, organized as the Parliamentary Nudist Steering and Policy Committee in a hearing that was recorded but not televised, Short argued in favor of requiring religious institutions, English schools and all Wuxi Expatdom companies including those with moral objections eating cheeseburgers, to provide free cheeseburgers in their health insurance. He said that in his five years as a Wuxi Expat, Cheeseburgers could cost him over 20,000 rmb. He also stated the 40% of the Wuxi China Expatdom English Teacher population suffered financial hardship as a result of the fact that cheeseburgers were not covered by any Wuxi China Expatdom health insurance plan. He continued that the lack of free cheeseburger coverage in his English school’s insurance plans would induce many low income English Teachers to go without cheeseburgers and that local Wuxi restaurants, including McDonald’s could not meet the need except when induced by money to do so.

When questioned by angry Parliamentary Nudist Steering and Policy Committee members who thought that their time was being wasted because nothing he was saying had anything to do with women’s reproductive issues, Short told them that eating cheeseburgers was a reproductive issue because he had a fetish for cheeseburgers which was sexual, and if woman should be allowed to have their sexual fetishes subsidized, why couldn’t he have his subsidized as well? "Sound a lot like discrimination against guys if you asked me! I will even agree to have films of me eating cheeseburgers made so people can make sure they I do have a fetish. Heck, I will even stick some cheeseburgers up my…..!" said Short.

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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