Responding to cries and moans from Wuxi Expatdomites begging him to tell them what he was going to do about the WCEDVDAS booking conflict crisis, Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society President Harry Moore issued a press release saying he was looking forward to speaking to the WCEDVDAS on the evening of March 1.
The press release didn’t resolve the issue since the two organizations that Moore is scheduled to speak tonight, the Wuxi China Expatdom DVD Appreciation Society and the Wuxi China Expatdom Dick Van Dyke Appreciation Society, both share the acronym WCEDVDAS. Long time Harry Moore watcher Andis Kaulins, not be confused with the English Teacher of the same name, or the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association President of the same name, said that either “President Moore was unaware there was a conflict or he was again displaying his calm, virile, sunny and optimistic manner under pressure for which he is famous!”
After the release of the ambiguous statement, millions of media men searched every nook and cranny of the Wuxi China Expatdom hoping to locate President Moore. He was eventually found by CNN at a local Kedi buying tea-leaf eggs and a Snickers bar. When asked about the booking conflict, Moore told CNN that the conflict was the fault of his secretary Miss Moneypenny. “That naughty secretary! Every time I spank her for this, she calls me “Tarzan”, her “Big Mountain Lion” and “Harry dear”, and you know, I just don’t have the heart to spank her in a rough way! I just pat her gently! This afternoon, I will go round to her place — I like to let her work at her place or mine — and we will consult, passionately, I mean sternly and seriously, about how to resolve this conflict! She has suggested that I toss a coin! But I don’t know where on my person I left my change. Thankfully, Miss Moneypenny says she will help me find it!”
The two WCEDVDAS organizations are both holding their grand convention tonight and both have Harry Moore scheduled as a Keynote Speaker. They have threatened to go to war if Moore speaks to the other organization. Thousands of tanks, amphibious aircraft carriers and infantry have been seen massing on both sides of Xueqian Road in Downtown Wuxi where the organizations are headquartered.