Wuxi China Expatdom opens world’s biggest Martial Arts studio and theme park

A 10 million square meter Martial Arts studio and theme park has been opened in the Hui Shan District of the Wuxi China Expatdom.

"Dragon’s Martial Arts Park will have every possible thing to appeal to the serious Martial Arts practitioner looking for a challenge, the Martial Arts fanatic, or the casual fan interested in new experiences!" said owner Bruce Dragon in an exclusive interview with the WCE blog. "We will have Martial Arts coaches, sages and trainers on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 or 366 days a year, including Christmas and Spring Festival to cater to your martial arts training needs! And there isn’t a style of Martial Arts you can’t learn at Dragon’s! We have the Northern and Southern Chinese styles like the northern fist (北拳) or the southern fist (南拳). And you can learn the horse, bow, drop, and dragon stances, whether in the traditional or modern manner!"

"If you don’t have time to study, we have professional Martial Arts mercenaries for hire whom you can spar with or whom you can enlist to help you settle your personal scores! And we also have miles and miles of pristine bamboo forest for you to stage martial arts gang battles!"

"And If you are just a martial arts fan, you will need a week to explore all our exhibits and to have lots of yuan to buy our martial arts specialty products and services! Every day we hold a world championship Martial Arts competition. Our Marital Arts museum is the biggest museum in the world. We have every Martial Arts movie ever made playing in our ten thousand screen multiplex cinema. We have an authentic to-scale replica of Hong Kong 1972 where Bruce Lee lived. We have one million authentic Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris look-a-likes for you to pose with and test your Kung-Fu skills. Our library and database contains all ancient and current research and thought about Martial Arts! We have on-site plastic surgeons who can make you look like Bruce Lee, Jackie Chen or Chuck Norris. Our souvenir shop is as big as Ba Bai Ban! And as a special treat, thanks to the our physicists, who are world experts in multi-verse theory, we have all the movies that Bruce Lee would have made if he hadn’t died so young!"

On Dragon’s Martial Arts Park grand opening night, Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society President Harry Moore delivered a special lecture about the films made in this universe and other parallel universes by Bruce Lee. After the lecture, the audience began to dance a new dance: the Kung Fu Prisyakda Hustle to the virtuoso musical renderings and vocalizings of Harry Callahan and the WCE Trio.

Originally from Seattle, Bruce Dragon studied philosophy and Martial Arts, spending lots of time in Hong Kong and Hollywood where he opened prestigious Martial Arts Studios catering to the stars. When he conceived the idea for his enormous Martial Arts Park, he shocked many in the Martial Arts industry by choosing the Wuxi China Expatdom to be the park’s site. But Dragon had no doubt in his mind that it was the right thing to do. "There was Bruce Lee! Then there is the Wuxi China Expatdom which has Gorzo the Mighty, Mango, Harry Callahan, Admiral Lloyd Bridges, General Colonel Sanders and Harry Moore — that’s Bruce Lee to the power of seven. The Wuxi China Expatdom is the world capital of Martial Arts!!"

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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