Wuxi China Expatdom Police Squad launches Operation Hephaestion 2

Officer McNulty, acting chief inspector of the Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police, (the WCERMP) announced the launch of Operation Hephaestion 2 which will try to rid Wuxi China Expatdom speech of pretentious French phrases and words. The first Operation Hephaestion had been a tremendous success in correcting the bad grammar of WCE English teachers.

McNulty announced at the operation’s launch on the grounds of Richilieu’s Castings, a French company with a plant in the Wuxi New District. As he spoke from his podium set up on the plant’s front lawn, many moaning and beaten French engineers could be seen in the background, sprawled on the grounds, floating in the nearby canal, and strewn on nearby roofs and trees. When it was pointed out to the McNulty that the beaten Frenchmen were speaking their native tongue, McNulty said to think of how they could only get Al Capone for tax evasion. "Who doesn’t deserve to sample my personal idiosyncratic and euiponderant brand of justice more than a Frenchman!" asserted McNulty.

McNulty then told the assembled media that a million WCERMP officers would be involved in Operation Hephaestion 2 , and that he had also received commitments from the Wuxi China Expatdom Armed Forces for assistance in the crackdown on pretentious French words and phrases. Said McNulty: "Beside the million police officers, General Colonel Harlan Sanders of the WCE Land Force has pledged armor and artillery assistance: WCERAF Air Marshall Gregory Peck says his ten thousand bombers will be on the highest alert for as long as it takes us to rid the Expatdom of pretentious French speaking; and WCERN Admiral Lloyd Bridges has told me that if need be, we can use his aircraft carriers and that the 200m cannons of his battleships can easily rain down fire on anyone using pretentious French phraseology where ever they may be in the Expatdom!"

Officer McNulty told the WCE Blog that he was inspired by Harry Moore, the WCE’s Minister of Colonies, who had set-out on a crusade to eradicate all French movies in the Wuxi China Expatdom. "I agree with President Moore’s contention that French movies have a bad influence on personal character of Wuxi Expats and on the beauty of standard English spoken correctly!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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