Not to be undone by the young local females who are wearing lense-less eye glass frames to make their eyes appear bigger, many Wuxi Expats are wearing lense-less monocles in hopes of gaining respect from the locals, all of whom are said to respect age.
"I hated it when locals told me I acted like a 25 year old!" says English Teacher Andis Kaulins (not be confused with President Andis Kaulins of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association and the other Andis Kaulins who is the president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Elite Expat Association) who is 48 years old. "Now, wearing my monocle in class, the students treat me like a senior. No more, do any of them say I under thirty!"
The only complaint ET Kaulins has about wearing a monocle is that always falls into the ground when he runs to catch a bus.
The Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Duston Short is wearing a monocle and a top hat as well. "I have fooled many locals into thinking I am a millionaire because with my short squat frame, top hat and monocles, I look like an old-fashioned capitalist!"
More well-heeled Wuxi Expats are wearing golden pocket watches chained to their pockets to accompany the top hat and monocle. Niels Bohr says that he has had three piece-suits custom-made for him on Houxixi street to complete his monocled look.
German Expat Baron Von Richter Smichter Merkel Strum says he is happy to see monocles back in fashion. "All de little local young strudel really likes me now!"
Wuxi China Expatdom Monocle Manufacturers say orders for monocles more than they have the capacity to handle. Warren Allyoucaneat, president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Monocle Company, says his company is planning to build a ten kilometer square monocle manufacturing facility to keep up with the demand.