Personal Trainer offers services to Wuxi Expats

Vince George S. Patton Lombardi, Personal Trainer, has come to the Wuxi China Expatdom.

"Whether you need to raise your self-esteem, i.e. become a man; improve your performance at work, i.e stop screwing the dog; improve your golf swing; control your temper — although if you are righteous, I don’t see the need; improve your posture; succeed in business or warfare; or perform better in the sack, i.e. keep your wife happy; VGSPL Personal Trainer Services is the only self-improvement service you will ever need! Think of VGSPL as your personal boutique sergeant-major. You will learn to hate us but you will love the results!" said Lombardi, who added that VGSPL’s approach to personal-training was old-school.

Asked if he saw potential in the Wuxi China Expatdom, which by any standards, was the greatest jurisdiction in human history for economic, intellectual, scientific, spiritual, sporting, philosophical and artistic achievement, Lombardi said that the achievements of the WCE could be attributed to a very small elite minority. "Of course this group; consisting of Gorzo the Mighty, Alfred Lord McClusky, Harry Callahan, Harry Moore, Lloyd Bridges, Gregory Peck, Mango, Ayira: the Chosen One, the sportsmen Rabbis and Colonel Harlan Sanders; is the greatest collection of humanity ever, but that doesn’t mean there is no room for self-improvement among the rest of the Wuxi Expats. I understand that there are in the WCE, groups of Expats from Ontario, Canada; as well as English teachers and Sexpats who could all use a good and swift kick in the ass!" said Lombardi.

Lombardi praised the Wuxi China Expatdom, saying it was enlightened in that it saw the wisdom of things from the past that are currently considered unenlightened. "In the Wuxi China Expatdom, they are free to paddle and righteously punish those who are lazy and immoral. And I can practice my favorite training technique which is to make my clients dig a hole as fast as they can, or else have a super-tank run them over. That teaches concentration of the mind like nothing else! And when we have our to-the-death gladiator competitions before graduation, there is none of this not-keeping-score baloney!"

VGPSL will open its training center at the corner of Xueqian and Zhonghan Roads on February 21.


Posted By Andis Kaulins to Wuxi, China Expatdom at 2/17/2012 08:45:00 PM

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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