Wuxi Red Guards trounce the New York Giants in the Super Duper Bowl

The Wuxi Red Guards trounced the NFL Champion New York Giants 73-0 to win Super Duper Bowl 2 and claim the World Professional Football Championship. A professional football record crowd of 200,000 watched the game at the newly-constructed Santiago Cafe Bowl Stadium on Nanchang Jie Bar Street in Wuxi, China.

The Record Crowd saw Red Guard Quarterback Rabbi Benjamin Blech, gave his throwing arm a rest and continually hand off the ball to Running Back and Royal Triplet, Hayek the Mighty who rushed for 560 yards and eight touchdowns in his first game ever of professional football.

Hayek could have scored ten touchdowns, but on two plays, that touched the hearts of professional football fans and mothers everywhere, Hayek, as he neared the goal line, lateraled the ball to his mother Wonder Woman allowing her to become the first female to score a touchdown in a professional football game. "I was inspired to do this by my godfather Archduke Harry Moore and his mission to Paradise Island to impregnate all the women of child-bearing age there. I asked myself, what I could do too, in such a selfless manner, to help womankind, and I thought what better way than to let my mother score a touchdown!"

But the real star of Super Duper Bowl 2 was Harry Callahan and the WCE Trio. So good was their half-time musical performance, that instead of playing the fourth quarter of the football game, Super Duper Bowl officials let the band play an encore and allow Harry Callahan to have another wardrobe malfunction. Said Callahan, who returned to Wuxi from a crime-fighting assignment in the Suzhou China Expatdom Colony: "I wasn’t planning on bearing my chest, but I didn’t want to disappoint all the good people who were demanding it!"

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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