Fifty Five Wuxi Expats attending a Monday Morning Super Bowl Party at the Chestnut Pub had to be sent to hospital.
Twenty Five of the Expats were hospitalized on account on food poisoning. Wally Droop’s Kangaroo Stew turned out to be made with tainted meat.
A further thirty of the Expats were hospitalized in the immediate post-game celebration. The group of thirty male expats, from Ontario, Canada, who were cheering for the New England Patriots, didn’t let the fact that their team had lost from taking off their clothes, rubbing their bodies together, dancing and chanting “Ha ha ha! Stupid Giant Fans! Beaten by we were you!”
Acting Chief Inspector of the Wuxi China Expatdom Police Force, Officer McNulty, attending the party and cheering for the Giants, took exception to the taunts, but would have let it go weren’t it not for the bad grammar. McNulty felt compelled to set his troop of Rabid Helper Mountain Gorilla Constables on the Ontarians.
Officials at the Wuxi China Expatdom Number One Paying Patients Hospital said that the Ontario Expats would be in hospital for a month or so. “Even with the latest laser surgical technology, it is going to be hard to extract copies of the Cambridge Grammar of the English Language, third edition, from their foreheads!” said WCENOPPH spokesman Marius Welbroski.