Wuxi China Expatdom Queen Ayira to resume Boxing Career

Ayria: The Chosen One, Queen of the Wuxi China Expatdom and Consort of his Majesty the King of Wuxi China Expatdom Gorzo the Mighty, has announced that she will resume her boxing career which had been put on hold when she was pregnant with the Royal WCE Triplets.

The Triplets: Hayek, Friedman and Buckley, born Christmas Day, have grown and matured already leaving Ayira free for other pursuits like her boxing career. Last year before the birth of the Royal Triplets, Ayira defeated Oprah Winfrey, Hilary Clinton and Michelle Obama in, what many boxing experts considered to be, the greatest pugilistic bouts in all of human history.

This year, Ayira plans to fight minority leader of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi, New York Times Columnist Maureen Dowd, and Leftist "Civil Rights" Lawyer Gloria Allred. She has challenged also Keynesian Economist Paul Krugman

Ayira has rehired her training staff including Angelo Dundee, Bill Belichick, Vince Lombardi, Knute Rockne, George S. Patton, Rocky Marciano, Alexander the Great, Eddie Futch, Teddy Atlas and Ray Arcel. She has also hired some poets including WCE Poet Laureate Alfred Lord McClusky, William Wordsworth and TS Eliot who will serve as her corner men during press conferences.

The evidence of Ayira’s determination to box again quickly became apparent to all media members attending the press conference where she announced the resumption of her boxing career: Ayira delivered a left hook to a T-70 battle tank, beside her on the podium, sending it flying a thousand feet; and then recited the following lyrics: "Rumble lie a butter fly! Deadly like like typhus! I am gonna beat and knock my opponents sense-lus!"

While she admitted that the lyric was nothing special, Ayira confidently boasted that the media men "ain’t heard nothing yet, and that she was going to give them lines and lines of witty rhymes that would fill notebooks from here to infinity, twice as easily as the roll of a dice!"

Asked by a CNN reporter why she only wanted to box women and half-men of Leftist and Progressive sentiments, Ayira said "I am powerful like an Iguana and I am going to kick the ass of who I wanna! Besides, Bachmann and Palin: they be forces for good! I only want to use my fists, on the people on my evil lists!"

Ayira ended the press conference by promising the media that 2012 would be a year of "sizzling sonnets, powerful punches, horrifying hooks, laid-out lamenting Leninists, and K-O’d Keynesians!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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