Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Triplets Are Already Full Grown!

Hayek the Mighty, Buckley the Mighty and Friedman the Mighty: the three sons of Wuxi China Expatdom Queen Ayira: The Chosen One, are already full grown and each has preternatural talents in many fields announced WCE Royal media spokesman Burt Machiavelli at a press conference held in the Royal Media Center of the WCE Royal Palace in the Shuo Feng District of Wuxi, China. The press conference gave to the world the first news about the development of the WCE Royal Triplets since they were born on Christmas Day, over two weeks ago. An estimated six million media persons attended the press conference making it the most attended press conference in World history.

The record crowd of press people and their hanger-ons learned that the Royal Triplets, possessing the blood of an Azananian Princess and a Mighty Galactic King, grew and matured at a prodigious rate. Announced Machiavelli: "The Royal Triplets were weaned off breast-feeding after three hours. They were completely toilet-trained at six hours after birth. They were talking twelve hours after birth. After four days, they had graduated from middle school. After a week, they aced their final exams to earn their high-school diplomas. Hayek lost his virginity ten days after being born. Buckely wrote his first best-selling non-fiction book: God and Man at Wuxi Number One People’s High School eleven days after his birth. Friedman wrote his authoritative history of the monetary aspect of the Great Fiscal Crisis of 2007 and is currently in America hunting down the charlatan Paul Krugman!"

Machiavelli then mentioned the numerous other talents the Royal Triplets have shown. "Hayek seems to have a virility nearly comparable to that of the Wuxi Expat Hall of Famer Harry Moore. He is also a great baseball player, dancer, singer, guitar player, and champion Mah Jong player. Buckley is the intellectual of the bunch and shown a great aptitude for brain surgery, rocket science, biochemistry, physics, engineering, philosophy, theology, architecture and politics. Friedman is already a great economist, an amazing actor and all-around athlete — yesterday, he defeated the Current European Club Champions Barcelona four to three in a thrilling eleven–against-one football match, just after he performed Hamlet at the Wuxi China Expatdom Players Theater! Friedman can also run 100 meters in eight seconds and bench-press Micheal Moore and the Titanic!"

The news of the Royal Triplets fast growth and maturity enraptured and thrilled many a Wuxi Expat. Blogger and English Teacher Andis Kaulins said he welcomed the news of the Triplets’ rapid growth saying it would give him plenty of things to write about in his blog about the Wuxi China Expatdom.

Prominent Wuxi Expats see the Triplets having a great future. Harry Moore, Hayek’s godfather and a best-selling author, said he looked forward to taking Hayek under his wing and grooming him to be his successor as President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society and even as the WCE Minister of Colonies. "I have so much on the table. I have to supervise colonies in Asia and South America, and probably the rest of the world after that. I have to be on top of the Cinema, past and present. And I think Hayek is the boy who can help me. He has got piercing dark eyes, glistening dark locks of hair, and a sunny disposition. He reminds me of when I was young. And I am so impressed by his knowledge of the films of David Lean!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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