Rash Rasmussen, an English Teacher in the Nanjing China Expatdom Colony, says he has only His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty, for curing the bad rash he had on his inner-thigh.
Said Rasmussen: "Ever since us Nanjing China Expats became subjects of the Wuxi China Expatdom we have all felt better. Before, we were all tense and lacking in self-esteem. Some of us were even contemplating becoming alcoholics, or even worse, Drug Addicts or Sexpats. But thanks to being able to look at, adore, and contemplate legitimate photos of Gorzo the Mighty, bought from the first authorized shop of Gorzo the Mighty Memorabilia in the Nanjing China Expatdom Colony, many of the physical symptoms of the malaise that we have had from not being part of the Wuxi China Expatdom have subsided. My friend Bob now has feet that don’t stink. My buddy Elmer has lost his stammer. Guy, another friend of mine, can now walk without crutches. Willy now has the energy to get out of bed and go to work on time. I, personally, no longer have to scratch my inner-thigh which had the most frightful rash. I used all these ointments and home remedies to no avail! But an authentic photo of Gorzo the Mighty bearing the laser seal of authenticity from the Wuxi China Expatdom Memorabilia Shop — that’s the ticket!"
The honorable minister of Wuxi China Expatdom Colonies, Harry Moore, says that in his travels in through the Expatdom Colonies, he has even seen more interesting miracles attributed to Expats getting Wuxi China Expatdom Colonial status and thus being able to get authentic Gorzo the Mighty memorabilia. Said Minister Moore: "In The Hefei China Expatdom, I saw thirty blind people regain their sight after buying Gorzo the Mighty t-shirts. In the Xian China Expatdom, many Expats have been cured of leprosy simply by drinking Gorzo the Mighty Honey Lager Beer. But the most miraculous thing I have seen was an Ontario, Canada Expat in the Beijing China Expatdom regaining his wits — I swear that after seeing a photo of His Majesty, the Ontarian’s I.Q. jumped thirty points!"
Minister Moore added that he is making sure that Wuxi China Expatdom Memorabilia Shops selling authentic Gorzo the Mighty gear will open in every Expatdom colony forthwith. "It is my priority at this moment. After that, I will make sure the film tastes of Colonial Expats will be improved!"