Duston Short, midget sumo wrestling champion of the Wuxi China Expat, has grown to love wearing split-ass pants saying they are convenient and allow him to save money on underwear and toilet paper.
Short, who is five foot six inches tall and weighs 200 pounds, said he got into wearing split-ass pants, which are normally worn by babies not yet potty-trained, by accident. "One day, I bent over, and the split the ass seam of my pants and my underwear. Because I was running late for work, I didn’t have time to change, so I went the day split-assed — it was perhaps the greatest date of my life. I felt like that guy who got hit by lightning as he was driving to Damascus. I didn’t have to lower and raise my drawers, and saved myself a lot of effort. The next day, I wore the pants again, and because I was running late, I didn’t bother putting on underwear. But the end of that day, I took the money I saved on toilet paper and was able to buy a beer at the Chestnut Pub."
Asked why he didn’t just become a naturist like other Wuxi Expats, Short said that his clothes were his only true friends.