John Hefner, co-leader of the Wuxi China Expatdom Sexpat Feminist Alliance, and nominally thought to be Wuxi’s leading Sexpat, held a press conference Monday to deal with charges that he had never sexually harassed anyone in the past. The charges arose after a story broke suggesting journalists looking into his past could find no record of sexual misdemeanors, sexual harassment payouts to female employees, or even any woman making complaints against him in his time as President of the Wuxi Expat Engineers Association.
Said Hefner: "I denied categorically that I never groped any of my female employees, that I never made off-colored sexual jokes when women were present, and that I didn’t leer and whistle as I complimented a woman on her appearance or cleavage. It is not my fault that the woman at my workplace laughed at me, and didn’t take my advances seriously. In fact, the scar I have on my face that has been called a Heidelberg dueling scar is the result of my constantly being slapped in the face by women for what I saying and pinching their behinds."
Asked by incredulous reporters how it was then that he could have gotten away with it all the time, Hefner said he didn’t know either, although the time he did harass women was during the latter stages of the Clinton Administration and maybe the woman thought he had an important job to do and so all he was doing was okay. Hefner, after some thought, did add that the women he was hitting on were all in their mid-forties, divorced or not married.
The Wuxi China Expatdom is flush with speculation over who leaked the story of Hefner having no sexual harassment allegations against him. Professor Graham Quirk, professor of Wuxi China Sexpat Studies at Brisbane State University, suggests that a few Wuxi Sexpats were not pleased with Hefner’s decisions to ally his party with the Wuxi Expat Feminist Party, and leaked the story to destroy Hefner’s Sexpat street cred, and so wrest control of the Sexpat Party from him. The Wuxi China Sexpat Party will hold a convention in December during which a leadership review vote with be held.