Wuxi China Expatdom Admirers of Herman Cain hold Pizza Festival

Herman Cain Admirers and Supporters, a growing portion of the Wuxi China Expatdom population, held a pizza festival in which nine nine inch pizzas could be purchased for nine RMB at Gambay’s Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China.

Andis Kaulins, leader of the Cain Admiration Society, said the Pizza at the festival was the best he had ever eaten in his seven years of living in the Expatdom. Said Kaulins, who is also president of the Wuxi China Rifle Association and an inductee into the Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame: "Other than at Pizza Hut, the pizza to be had in Wuxi, China is shit!"

Asked to justify his frank use of language, Kaulins said he was inspired by his new hero’s straight talk. "Herm Cain calls it like it is. And because of this, he is refreshing…. And he is inspiring. He personal battle to overcome cancer is a lesson for all of us in dealing with adversary."

Talking about Cain’s lack of foreign policy experience, Kaulins wasn’t in the least worried. "Any man who pronounces Ukbekistan: Uz becky becky wecky stan is definitely offering a fresh approach to foreign affairs. It has been my experience that many people who live in foreign countries fashion themselves experts. With Cain, you will hopefully see a President who makes no pretense in knowing about unimportant parts of the world. I can just see him going to France, and wondering, aloud and openly, why all the effeminate types there are pricks!"

Ninety nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine Expats attended the Festival.


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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