Wuxi China Expatdom King saddened by Sarah Palin’s decision to not run for U.S. Presidency

Gorzo the Mighty, King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, with tears in his eyes, said he was disappointed that Sarah Palin would not run for the U.S. Presidency.

Said His Majesty, "My gal Sarah is the salt of the earth and would have been a great U.S. president. But I do respect her decision to put family over ambition. Any gal who chooses not to abort a baby because it has Downe’s Syndrome is simply too good for this world. Who knows! Maybe, she will run in 2016 or 2020!"

Asked who he was now supporting in the U.S. presidential race, His Majesty said "I am supporting Herm Cain. I really impressed by him and his business experience. He is the only candidate who talks any sense. The so-called front-runners are hedging and seem willing to throw common sense to the wind in order to get votes from "moderates." I should remind those who say he lacks experience in political office that he has experience in accomplishing things which those who have experience in political office lack. The great state in the Expatdom is in now has been accomplished by two seeming political novices: myself and Prime Minister Mango! "

Asked what he thought of Mitt Romney, "He troubles me. Sure, he has nice presidential hair. And he would be a better president than the current occupant of a White House — but then so could a Orange Soda Can or Andis Kaulins! Romney is a notorious flip-flopper, hasn’t apologized for Romney Care, and has received the endorsement of the Ayatollah of Mordor!"

Around the Wuxi China Expatdom, Palin supporters act civilly. A few went to the Santiago Cafe to have a drink and commiserate in a quiet and civilized fashion with fellow Palin-heads.

Palin-Haters in Wuxi, China, however, were besides themselves with joy and acted abominably. Many took photos of Sarah Palin and rubbed them with their own feces. Some like Duston Short, midget sumo wrestling champion of the Expatdom, dunked their heads into unflushed toilets of the Chestnut Pub to celebrate Palin’s announcement. Others like Troy Picard vowed to never give up hating Palin and to stop making Palin jokes. A thousand Palin-Haters decided to go skinny-dipping in the Lake Taihu.


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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