Wuxi Expat attacks Public Bus

Wuxi Expat Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion Duston Short was briefly detained by local police after he attacked a public bus on Wuxi’s Zhongshan Road. Short, an English Teacher at some Wuxi English school, claimed that the bus was giving him a malevolent look, and he had no choice but to attack it.

People who know Short, but denied being his friends, say that Short spent the October holiday in the countryside with his new girlfriend. Despite being warned to bring along DVDs, Short ignored the advice, and so had nothing to watch but Thomas the Engine and Bob the Builder DVDs that his girlfriend had brought for her little nephew. Finding out that there was nothing to do in the countryside, Short watched the children’s shows, featuring machines with faces, over and over and over again until he couldn’t distinguish between the cartoon and reality.

His now ex-girlfriend claimed Short first tried to attack the bus that they were to take back to Wuxi. The bus driver and the girlfriend had to tie Short up for the trip back to Wuxi.

Untied, once he was back in Wuxi, Short strode angrily down Zhongshan Road and began to believe that all the vehicles in traffic were staring at him. The number 81 bus, Short thought, was giving him a particularly nasty look, so he waited at a stop to ambush it. When the 81 bus pulled in, Short, after asking the bus if it was staring at him, put his head down, and proceeded to head-butt the bus bumper until he was finally able to dent it. Locals, amused by the sight, took out their cameras and recorded videos which they put on Youku.com. Local Police put Short in the custody of Wuxi China Expatdom Chief Inspector Harry Callahan.

Callahan gave Short a choice of always wearing a hockey helmet while he was in the Expatdom or going to jail for ten days. Short said he would go back to Ontario, Canada to get a hockey helmet.

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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