At a packed press conference, held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay’s Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China, commander of the Wuxi China Expatdom International Expeditionary Force, Karl Malden announced that the Swedish Bikini Team has finally been located and rescued from the tunnels beneath the Wuxi train station.
Malden gave credit to Wonder Woman, wife of Wuxi China Expatdom Prime Minister Mango, for locating the missing Swedish Vixens:
"Wonder Woman was with the Wuxi China Expatdom Justice League when she decided to look behind a door that said: "Don’t disturb. Orient Express and the Swedish Bikini Team aren’t in here!" Until now, everyone had heeded the sign and didn’t look behind the door. I guess you will have to credit her female intuition.
Anyway, she looked behind the door and found the Swedish Bikini Team playing twister and hanky-spanky with intrepid Wuxi China Expatdom reporter Orient Express.
Orient Express was in a bit of daze and didn’t react at all to being found. The girls laughed and wondered what had taken so long."
Asked if the rescue of the Swedish Bikini Team in such an undramatic manner would affect Swedish Bikini Team Search 2011 memorabilia sales, Malden said there were plans to make movies about the rescue, and the things that Orient Express and the Swedish girls did together before being rescued. "As well," said Malden, "we have all our production facilities ready to make Wuxi China Expatdom Bikini Classic memorabilia. For now that the Swedish Bikini Team have been found, the 2011 Wuxi China Expatdom Bikini Classic can begin!"