Harry Moore elected President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society

Harry Moore was elected the new president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society at its annual convention held at Wuxi’s Landlord Stadium in the New District. Moore won the presidency on the twelfth ballot of the most highly contested and bitter presidential elections in WCEFAS history.
Coming into the convention, Moore had won the most primary votes but was unable to achieve a majority on the ballot till eleven other candidates dropped out. Moore was seen as the leader of the appreciation of film as a fan faction of the society: the Popcorn faction. Their rival faction consisted of film society members who saw film appreciation as really film appreciation with a social conscience: these anarchist Marxist fascist neo-cubist logical positivist realists (the Amfnclprers) fought Moore’s nomination all the way saying that Moore’s popcorn appreciation of film was dangerous, simple-minded, and could result in nuclear war with space aliens. A third faction: the Blue filmers, though commanding a very small portion of the society membership, found themselves holding the balance of power in this election — they wanted films with lots of nudity. But unlike the Popcorn faction which had coalesced around Moore’s charismatic leadership, the other factions were split into many sub-factions that it took the many ballots of the convention to sort out.

The convention was marred by angry taunting and violence between the Popcorners and the Amfnclprers. At one point, the two factions fought a pitched battle involving tanks, artillery, mortars, and hand-to-hand fighting that resulted in 40,000 deaths.

Once the dust, debris, and corpses were cleared, voting on the convention’s twelfth ballot took place and Moore finally secured a majority of votes to get the presidency. He was able to sway undecided members of the Blue film faction by telling them how much he loved Pamela Anderson.

At his acceptance speech, Moore thanked the Popcorn and Blue film factioners and offered an olive branch to the Amfnclprers saying they were welcome to come watch movies with him as long as they promised not to do a frame-by-frame analysis of each film until everyone had seen the film at normal speed at least once. He also asked that the people who died at the convention be remembered and that a memorial to them be built at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.

Moore’s agenda, during his two year term as WCEFAS president, will be to bring back fun to film-viewing. Said Moore: "Many Wuxi Expats take their film-watching far too seriously. Who will ever forget the battle that occurred last year over the merits of the films of Quentin Tarantino in which 200 people were injured! I agree that a sick person sees art in what Tarantino does, but that doesn’t mean you have to hit the person on the head with a baseball or cricket bat! I just want to be able to go to the cinema, buy a big tub of popcorn, and forget to think for two hours. Though on a serious note, I will be canvassing for capital punishment those who talk, whether to their companion or on their mobile phone, during the movie!"

Presidency of the WCEFAS is considered to be one of the ten more important positions in the Wuxi China Expatdom. The other positions of Expatdom importance include the Kingship, the Prime Ministership, the Presidency of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association, Ownership of Gambay’s Pub, Ownership of the Chestnut Pub, the Poet Laureatacy, being the parent of Tony Kaulins, and the head bloggership of the Wuxi China Expatdom Blog.

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About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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