A Wuxi Expat who thought he had found a countryside girl he could easily seduce, instead had his special designed wooden leg stolen by the girl.
English Teacher and part-time Chestnut Pub employee Duston Short, who wished to remain anonymous, was the Expat victimized.
Short, who is also the midget Sumo Wrestling Champion of the Wuxi China Expatdom told the following story:
"I saw this girl with come-hither innocent eyes tell me she was good countryside people and that she wanted to have an English conversation with me. I said "of course", thinking I could get in on with this girl no problem. Jezebel had the sweetest eyes and fit into her jeans perfectly. So I took her to the Chestnut Pub.
I bought her some drinks which I, of course, put on my Chestnut Pub tab — I can pay that off on payday. Jezebel had a hard time drinking the Barcardi Breezer I got her. I was thinking to myself: easy meat! Tipsily, or so it seemed, Jezebel said she wanted to go for a walk. She could have told me to jump in a lake at that point. I was willing to follow her to the ends of the earth! Talking to her, I thought I had meet a girl who was innocent as the pure snow and just as gullible. Jezebel told me she had only been in the city for a week and that she had lived in the mountains of Sichuan and so never had been to the city.
After finishing my drink quickly, we then left the pub and went for a walk. We walked to the canal. We then walked along the canal. She snuggled close to me. She held my hand. She then took me to the Courtyard Marriot where she said she was staying. I was in ecstasy.
In her room, it only took me fifteen seconds to get my tongue down her mouth. We laid on the bed. She undressed me. Seeing my wooden leg, she indicated that she wanted to look at it. I naturally agreed. I took it off for her. Her curiosity to me seemed to be pure innocence. I imagined marrying her and forever being her protector — at least, until I could find another conquest.
After examining my wooden leg with the keenest interest, she told me she had a grandmother with a leg missing. She then took my wooden leg and rubbed between her tiny breasts and then sucked the knee joint. God, I was excited!
But then she threw the leg down and looked at me sternly. I suddenly was overcome with fear. This girl holding my leg had complete power over me! For without my leg, I couldn’t move.
She asked me if I had money! I told her I didn’t. She then, in perfect English, said she wasn’t sleeping with me for free. She wanted money.
When I told her again that I didn’t have any money, she put my wooden leg in her bag and walked out. I was stuck in the room and no one came to help me till it was past checkout time. I was, as usual, late for work, and stuck with a two day hotel bill to boot. And I will need to get a new wooden leg!"
Wuxi China Expatdom Chief Inspector Harry Callahan had no sympathy for Short after hearing the story. "That dumb punk will never learns. Serves him right!"