Karl Malden, Commander of the Wuxi China Expatdom International Expeditionary Force that is overseeing Swedish Bikini Team Search Update 2011, announced, at a packed press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay’s Pub, that the search for the Bikini Team will resume after an all-star benefit concert to be held at Harry Moore Memorial Square Gold on Monday evening.
The search for the Swedish Bikini team, who had gone missing in the tunnels below the newly-expanded Wuxi Train Station, had been delayed by the Wuxi China Expatdom Justice League, the Expatdom’s superhero organization, having to attend the marriage of Wonder Woman and Wuxi China Expatdom Prime Minister Mango; and the induction ceremony of Andis Kaulins into the Wuxi Expat Hall of Fame.
Malden seemed beside himself with ebullience, such that his hair was effulgent, when talking about the search’s memorabilia sales, the all-star benefit concert, and the resumption of the search. Said a beaming Malden: "Sales of Swedish Bikini Team Search 2011 memorabilia have exceeded the U.S. federal government debt. As of last night, we have sold more than 14 trillion U.S. dollars in SBTS 2011 gear! The most popular item has been the Poolside Harry Moore — 2012 Swedish Bikini Team Calendar box set. I expect that after the all-star benefit concert for the Swedish Bikini Team; featuring the likes of: the surviving members of the Who, Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Lady Gaga, Ringo Starr, Tony Bennett, Harry Callahan and the WCE Trio, the Eagles, the Wuxi China Expatdom Male Strip Team Dazzle with Harry Moore, Chuck Norris, Wonder Woman, and Shania Twain; that sales will exceed 20 trillion! And then having the Wuxi China Expatdom League of Justice: including Wonder Woman, Green Algae Man, Barefoot Peasant Doctor, the Wuxi Sexpat Flasher, Panda Man, Panda Girl, Panda Boy, Ontario Body Odour Boy, Red Typhoon, Brick Man, Harry Moore, Rush Limbaugh, Jesuit Jet Stream, Andis Kaulins, Inspector Harry Callahan, Mort Sahl, Acid, Captain Marvelous, Mango, the Iron Bladder, Alcohol Man, Captain Baijoe, Stinky Tofu Man, and dozens of others; involved in the search sales will hit 25 trillion!"
The search for the missing Swedish Team Team will resume on Tuesday.