The Wuxi China Expatdom Wildlife Safari Park, located in concurrence with the 1912 Bar District, has agreed to adopt 20,000 feral Expats from The Suzhou, China Expatdom.
The announcement of the adoption was made by Hugh Jefferts, president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Feral Expats Relocation Assistance League (WCE FERAL), at a press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay’s Pub. Said Jefferts: "The Suzhou Expatdom has been overcome with feral Expats, mostly English Teachers, who have been running causing mayhem in the French and Polish Concessions. These Feral Suzhou Expats should fit in well in the Wuxi Expatdom’s Wildlife Safari Park when they would prove excellent game for hunters coming from Gambay’s."
Asked if the feral expats would fit in with the normal wildfire at the Safari Park, Jefferts said that 100 feral Suzhou Expats already donated have gotten on well with the gibbons, chimps, orangutans, and wildebeests. A group of fifty orangutans and feral Suzhou Expats seem to have had some romantic liaises already, if you know what I mean, wink, wink! The wildlife and the feral Suzhou Expats can be often seen picking off each other’s tick and lice, and then sunning together at the decks near the canal that runs alongside the 1912 Bar District."
Jefferts, when asked, was unable to identify the nationalities of the feral Suzhou Expats. "But from what I can make of their mutterings and spastic speech patterns, they must be either U.S. Democrats, Canadian NDPers, or Labourites from England."
Experts blame the outbreak of Feral Suzhou Expats on the Suzhou Expatdom’s adoption of a welfare state in the 1960s coming home to roost.