Commander of the Wuxi China Expatdom International Expeditionary Force that is looking for the Swedish Bikini Team, Karl Malden, at his daily press conference, announced that a much-needed shipment of string had finally arrived. Because 300,000 searchers had gone missing in the Wuxi China Train Station tunnels, WCEIEF leaders had suspended the search till string could be issued to of the 2,700,000 remaining in the search force.
Searchers can now unwind the string as they enter the confusing tunnels of the newly expanded Wuxi Train Station.
Said Malden, "This technique which I learned of when I was studying Greek Mythology last week, should cut our losses of remaining personnel to zero. The search may be able to resume tomorrow!"
Members of the WCEIEF were enthused by the news. Said searcher Herodutus Bosch, "I hated to be sitting in the pub the last two days drinking beer. I would much rather have been sweating and looking for the Swedish Bikini Team!"
Duston Short, an Expat from Ontario, Canada and the Expatdom’s midget sumo wrestling champion, said that he was still waiting for his shipment of acid.
Malden, at the press conference, also announced that sales of Swedish Bikini Team Search 2011 Memorabilia had surpassed one billion yuan. "The bobble-head and bobble-chest dolls are sold out. As well, the Swedish Bikini Team and Inspector Harry Callahan Jr. accompanied by the WCE Trio album has gone quadruple-triple platinum."