Wuxi China Protesters demand end to search for the missing Swedish Bikini Team

At the South Square of the Wuxi, China Station, factions of the Naturist Party still loyal to ousted leader Iggy Poop, staged a protest demanding the end of the Swedish Bikini Team Search 2011. They sang "Kumbaya", "Camptown Races", "Old McDonald had a farm" and other songs they knew, including protest songs. They came bearing signs saying STOP THE SEARCH; SCREW THE TROLLOPS; PEACE IN OUR TIME!; REAL MEN CUT AND RUN; IKEA: NEVER FORGET, NEVER FORGIVE; WHAT HAS SWEDEN EVER DONE FOR US?; NO BLOOD FOR BIKINIS; RUN AWAY!; and THERE IS NO SHAME IN GIVING UP. They listened to speeches demanding the end of the search which has already seen over three hundred thousand go missing. Many of them didn’t shave or wash for the occasion so they could look like hippies. Some even wore white flowers in their hair. Others ate deep-fried dove — the official fried food of world peace.

Said protest participant Eleanor Belanor, from New York: " We have lost over three hundred thousand people in the search already. I don’t want to see the Wuxi China Expatdom have its own Vietnam, engaging in a search that can’t possibly end with a finding and that would definitely end with the loss of hundreds of thousands of millions of good people!"

Said protester Zappa Ziggie Wiggie, from California: "What’s a few missing girls? Man! We just want peace!"

Duston Short, an Expat from Ontario, Canada, apologized for coming to the protest because he was under the mistaken impression that is was a legalize pot rally.

Ed Broadbent from Canada, another protester, said he didn’t want to see the Wuxi China Expatdom become imperialistic.

Two hours into the protest, a massive group came to counter-protest. Outnumbered by a factor of a thousand to one, the anti-search protesters fled to the tunnels of the Wuxi China Train Station and haven’t been seen since.

Karl Malden, commander of the Wuxi China Expatdom International Expeditionary Force that is organizing Swedish Bikini Team Search 2011, said he would heed the protesters "in as much as the IEF wouldn’t look for the protesters now that they were missing."


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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