King Gorzo the Mighty makes it okay for Wuxi China Expats to be Winnipeg Jets Fans.

After the 2011 Vancouver Hockey Riots, it was only natural that the billion or so Wuxi China Expats who had been Vancouver Canuck Fans would desire to change their allegiance. The riots revealed a barbaric and unsportsmanlike nature to Canuck fans that was in keeping with the "That’s not cricket" philosophy of the better class Wuxi China Expat.

None of the billion or so Expats wanted to be fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs or Ottawa Senators — teams coming from areas of Canada where belief in Socialism, Socialism-Liberalsim, Liberal Fascism, Cannabalism, Necrophilia, and Man-Boy Love was rampant and mandatory.

All the Wuxi China Expat hockey enthusiasts ultimately hoped to be fans of the Winnipeg Jets who were back in the NHL after 15 years. Unfortunately Winnipeg was where the Ayatollah of Mordor resided before he had been taken to Hans Island’s Guantanamo Detention Facility to face trial for crimes, against humanity and chocolate, committed during his reign as King of Wuxi. All Wuxi China Expat ice hockey fans felt uncomfortable with cheering for the Jets given Winnipeg’s connection with the Ayatollah of Mordor.

So, ex-Vancouver Canuck fans in the Wuxi China Expatdom felt they were without a team.

That is, till Wuxi China Expatdom King Gorzo the Mighty came to rescue. Gorzo, after talking to Winnipeg mayor Sam Katz, announced that the City of Winnipeg of the Expatdom of Wuxi, China agreed to sign a treaty where the Ayatollah of Mordor was to be declared personna non grata in Winnipeg and stripped of his Winnipeg citizenship and residential address. Said Gorzo, "Mayor Katz has told me that all Winnipegers of good will want the stain of association with the Ayatollah of Mordor to wiped from their city. They feel the treaty is a good start. Katz has also offered to pay reparations to any Wuxi China Expat who had been made to suffer during the Ayatollah of Mordor’s reign as King of Wuxi."

After hearing the announcement, ex-Vancouver Canuck Fan and Wuxi China Expat Harry Callahan said "Go Jets Go!"


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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