Friday night, the 24 hour wedding chapel at Gambay’s Pub in the 1912 Bar District, married its 3,000,000th human-object couple since a law was enacted earlier in 2011 in the Wuxi, China Expatdom allowing humans to marry inanimate objects.
The 3,000,000th couple was Edith Crachet, from Kansas, U.S.A. and her crochet needles. Asked why she married her crochet needles, Ms. Crachet said they provided her with more pleasure than her deceased husband ever did.
The lucky couple had their ceremony conducted by the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, His Majesty Gorzo the Mighty. Gorzo’s wife Queen Ayira: The Chosen One acted as bride’s maid. The lucky couple then received a free meal with drinks at Gambay’s, and a limited edition set of Wuxi China Expatdom International Expeditionary Force bobble-head dolls.