Wuxi China Expat Big Bobby Clubber, an English Teacher from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, has confessed to sending text messages and tweets to his students. At a press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay’s Pub, a tear-filled Clubber, after confessing, said he had given his resignation notice to his school and would return back to Canada. "I am very sorry for the thing I have done. I am ashamed of myself. I have let down the people who hired me, the Wuxi China Expatdom, his majesty Gorzo the Mighty, her majesty Queen Ayira: The Chosen One, Inspector Harry Callahan who could have thrown the book at me, and Harry Moore who gave me an autographed copy of his smash hit best seller the Poolside Harry Moore. I shouldn’t haven’t sent those tweets. I should have taken my position as teacher seriously, and not used it to have a social life."
Asked what prompted him to resign and confess, Clubber said he was freaked out by what Anthony Weiner had done in the U.S.A. Said Clubber, "I realized that sending tweets and text messages to young boys and girls was wrong and that it was best that I own up to it, and get on with my life. I couldn’t bear to have this on my conscience once I found out it was wrong. I had to take full responsibility and resign."
Asked about the nature of his tweets and text messages, Clubber said that he was practicing his Chinese by asking questions and sending holiday greetings in pinyin.
Further queried, if the tweets or text messages were of a sexual nature, Clubber became confused, saying he didn’t know what " of a sexual nature" meant. After five minutes of explanation, Clubber then said he understood, and said that he in fact hadn’t sent sexual tweets or text messages to his students. Clubber added that he did have pictures of naked parts of his body on his phone, but didn’t know how he could send them by text message or tweeting.
Told that he need not have resigned, the Wuxi Expat from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, slapped himself on the forehead and said "doh!"