Wuxi China Expatdom’s and World’s Largest Statue “Almost Finished”

This morning PM Mango took a massive media group – from every Expatdom in the world – for a preview inspection of he newest building project in downtown WCE.

The towering edifice will honour one of The Expatdom’s greatest living citizens, Andis Kaulins. Handing-out a 1,374 page media release, PM Mango told the awe-struck assembly that the statue will have a height of 89.001 metres. "But we have several things yet to be decided upon before the sculpture will be completed", he said.

"At first we began applying the standard bronze coating, however that is being replaced by 100% pure gold, 24 carrots."

The design came from Harry Moore, who specialises in statuesque structures in honour of the great, distinguished, and multi-talented
Andis Kaulins. Actual construction is being undertaken by the Super Mario Brothers. Tens of thousands of Expats are working 24 hours on the project, all of them voluntary and unpaid.

Wayne Gretzky, who winters every year in the Expatdom, was also present at the site. He said that he was "a little envious, but after all, Andis’ successes on ice were far greater than mine." "Andis is the Pavarotti of the rinks, and his feats include 60 hat tricks, and the fastest-ever to 500, scoring totals of 1,893 goals in 55 games, and Andis never, ever dogged it!", Gretzy exclaimed.

Among a few of the detailed decisions that haven’t yet been finalised is whether the head will be surmounted by a crown, a mitre, or perhaps a mammoth toque, and, whether the figure will be holding a diamond-encrusted hockey stick, or possibly a representation of the thousands of NHL trophies awarded to Andis.

PM Mango said that this is only the first of dozens of statues of Andis that will eventually dominate the Expatdom skyline. "We have plans", he said, "for something of even greater grandeur to be unveiled, probably a day or two before Christmas, but I’d prefer to keep that as a suprise, for now."

The formal, official dedication ceremony of this statue will be the special privilege of either Gorzo the Mighty, or Mayor Sam Katz.


About wuxiandis

An English Teacher in Wuxi, China. Married to a local girl. Father of a boy born August 23, 2007.
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