Wuxi China Expatdom Poet Laureate Alfred Lord McClusky reported seeing Mermen and Mermaids in Lake Taihu.
Said McClusky, "I saw a merman bold, sitting alone, singing alone, under the lake, with a crown of gold, on a throne. I then saw some other merman join him. And some fair mermaids too."
McClusky then fantasized about being a Merman. Said McClusky, "I would be a merman bold. I would sit and sing the whole of the day. I would fill the sea-halls with a voice of power; but at night I would roam abroad and play with the mermaids in and out of the rocks, dressing their hair with the white sea-flower; and holding them back by their flowing locks I would kiss them often under the sea, and kiss them again till they kiss’d me laughingly, laughingly. And then we would wander away, away to the pale-green sea-groves straight and high, chasing each other merrily. There would be neither moon nor star; but the wave would make music above us afar– low thunder and light in the magic night– neither moon nor star. We would call aloud in the dreamy dells, call to each other and whoop and cry all night, merrily, merrily. They would pelt me with starry spangles and shells, laughing and clapping their hands between, all night, merrily, merrily. But I would throw to them back in mine turkis and agate and almondine. Then leaping out upon them unseen, I would kiss them often under the sea, and kiss them again till they kiss’d me laughingly, laughingly. Oh! What a happy life were mine under the hollow-hung ocean green! Soft are the moss-beds under the lake. We would live merrily, merrily."
Harry Callahan, Chief Inspector of the Wuxi China Expatdom, asked to comment on McClusky’s claims, said, "He’s been drinking again! He probably saw those Ontario, Canada Expats who were living in the stomach of the Kraken! Still, if those sweet lyrics can get all the Wuxi Sexpats to jump in a lake, or rather in Tai Lake, I won’t knock it! Heck! If he gets those Wuxi Sexpats out of my hair, I’d recommend we pay him a salary for his versifying!"