From Asuncion, Paraguay, comes news of the capture of Wesley Mouch, Chief Economic Planner in the regime of the Ayatollah of Mordor, the despotic former King of Wuxi. Mouch was captured by Hans Zimmerman, who had been honeymooning with his underwear, in the Alto Paraguay Department. It was by coincidence that Zimmerman and his underwear encountered Mouch. Mouch had been annoying the locals by strutting around in his black military uniform and high heel shoes at all times of the day. It was the locals who summoned the tourist Zimmerman, who they called the El Greato Wuxi Expato touristo, to save them from the Malingo Peste Economo Stupido.
Wesley Mouch is rightly reviled by long time Wuxi China Expats for his stupid economic ideas like monorail, cap and trade policies, one hundred percent public ownership of restaurants, public private partnerships, agriculture subsidies, chocolate marketing boards, egg marketing boards, high export and import tariffs, aluminum jewelery, wind farms, ice skating on Lake Taihu, public television, cardboard shoes and socks, Keynesian stimulus, and a midget basketball league.
Mouch will be taken to the Guantanamo 2 Detention Facility on Canada’s Han Island where he will join the Ayatollah of Mordor on trial for crimes committed during the dark times of Wuxi China Expatdom history.